Capri is TWO YEAR OLD!

Capri is TWO years old today. I can't believe it and I am so happy she came to our family. She is so sweet and empathetic, stubborn, smart and just plain adorable!
She has been sick for about a week and a half with a low grade fever, lots of throwing up and not eating much. We've taken her to the doctor several times and now I'm sure she has an ear ache as she is screaming bloody murder and saying her ear hurts and holding it. But the doctors office won't prescribe and antibiotic until they see her again because as the nurse said (Who obviously did NOT look up her chart) to see if "your story is true or not" Ugh. I hate doctors and the control they have over stuff like this, I get that we don't want to overuse antibiotics but a week and a half of not keeping foods or liquids down, sleeping even less than normal and her fever thats constantly been 100-101. I'm not happy. Oh man tangent here....but it brings me to about two days ago when Capri was crying and sick and we were in her bed to try to take a nap and she looked at me and said "prayer mom, prayer" she took my hands together and said it again "prayer mom, prayer". She folded her arms and bowed her head while we said a prayer for her to get feeling better. She will say prayers over her meals, and at random times throughout the day. It's absolutely adorable and I know she came from Heaven. I have felt like a bad mom because I don't always set the best example of praying before every meal, but she has been helping to remind me that its important. She loves animals, making all of the different noises they make, she especially loves ssssssssss for snake and spider.
When Capri wants attention she says "miss you, miss you, hugga me, hugga me" It makes trying to work pretty hard but its super adorable. She has also been asking me to "fix it, fix it" since she is sick and has been good while we give her tylenol, I've only been giving one dose at night if she wont sleep but she takes it like a champ most of the time. She has been excited that it is her Birthday today even though shes been screaming half of it. She loves to pose for the camera, she says hi and thank you to everyone she sees at the grocery store. It's adorable. She loves to help clean up the kitchen counters, or "help" when we vacuum. Well I will write more later as she needs some help and is in my face. LOL

"Love you much mama"

"Love you much mama" words I can't even begin to express how wonderfully happy they made me. I always dreamed of being a mother, I wanted to be the best mother in the world. My world was rocked however when Capri was born. I did not feel like a good mother at all. Why couldn't I tell what she wanted? I had no idea the whole "different screams for different things" it was one scream. Loud, very loud and it was often. I have learned so much in the almost two years being Capri's mother. I have learned that you do what you have to as a parent to survive. Survival. It's something Jeremy and I had to dig and dig and try to figure out through the first six months of Capri's life and on. She screamed for hours, we went to doctor after doctor appointment, tried different techniques, driving, not driving, music, no music, tv, no tv, lights on, lights off, white noise, no white noise, a lovey, countless binkies (all of which were gagged right out of Capri's mouth), special soaps, lavender smells in the room, night lights, no night lights. And feeding her, oh man is that a whole long list in and of itself, and to this day is still a battle.
Capri has taught me so much more than I ever thought I'd learn from being her mom. She loves to laugh and play. She is so sweet to animals and because of her we got a bunny and a big fish tank and go to the petting zoo often. One of my favorite things that she has been doing lately is praying over her food. Which consists of her closing her eyes, folding her arms and saying "Heavnly father, AMEN!" and she does it at night before she goes to sleep as well. I always felt like I wasn't teaching her well because I did not force her to pray with us during meals or at night, just had her watch. She also really loves the game "Your CUTE" and it's a really fun little banter telling each other the other one is cute. She is so fun to watch when she face times her grammy and papa and her uncle cliff. One time when Cliff was face-timing probably back in November she would put the phone in her pretend kitchen microwave and "cook" Cliff as he screamed for fun on the phone, she would put the phone in the sink and pretend to be spraying water all over him as well. She has such a fun personality I honestly can't believe it. She will randomly sing "twinkle twinkle, star, up above world high, diamond sky" I love it so much! She loves music when she is awake...when she wants to go to sleep she will yell "stop" and put her hand up. She always screamed louder when she was an infant if I tried to sing her to sleep. Instead I was constantly "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSHHHHHHHing" her. The other day at the store a little baby was crying pretty hysterically and from an aisle over Capri started "shhhhsshhhhing" and saying "baby crying? shhhssshhhhh". I have never seen a more grateful little sick kid, she will say "kissame" and I will kiss her head, arm, hand etc. anything that she either bonked or if her head hurts etc and she will say "thank you mama" It killsss me its so cute. She is so gracious and also when she burps she laughs holds her hand to her mouth and says "excusame" She is so bright and independent. She still passes out when she gets upset, but most of the time it happens if she has been sick. She still does not sleep many hours and I don't think she ever will. I have learned that you cannot make someone do anything. Especially sleep. If she isn't going to sleep no amount of rocking, shhhsssshing, dark room etc  will put her to sleep. On the bright side we have had a lot of fun memories late at night. She loves to be hugged and will say "hugga me" when she wants to be picked up. I am so in love with this toddler stage it's crazy. I love that I get to spend so much time with her while she is young. It can get tough working with her around as she knows how to get right in my face and tell me what she wants or that she wants me to "hang up, hang up" Or she comes and tries to close my computer while I am working. She was so much fun in Hawaii for Christmas and I was so proud of how well she handled the travel time. She loves to color, play with playdough which she calls "mino" (I have no idea why but she started calling it that very young and it has stuck. Her favorite show is Doc McStuffin's and she loves to "check ears" "check eyes" and then say "all better". When people come to visit us at come she yells "come on in!" and proceeds to show them whatever toy she is especially attached to, or show them her bunny or her fishes. She loves her daddy and they love to eat "colds" (otter pops) together. This morning she heard me talking about how my back was hurting (I threw it out over a week ago and it has been hurting me ever since. Back pain sucks) and she said "back hurting? kiss it"" and proceeded to kiss my shoulder. She has such a kind heart and wants everyone to be her friend. She can switch between apps, turn on my phone, the ipad and play lots of games on them. She also loves books and will bring me book after book to read to her. I was so worried when she was younger because she wouldn't sit still while I read a book, but now she loves it and will ask me to read her books multiple times a day. Which has in turn sent me to thrift stores and DI to try and find more books because I get bored reading the same ones over and over.
Jeremy continues to be super busy in grad school and I am looking forward to the summer when he will not have as much and he can come to Utah with me when I go to work. We love our little girl and I could go on and on with all of the adorable things that she does. And yes I should be doing paperwork but I decided to blog about my little princess instead.

Christmas in Hawaii

Our little family in Paradise

I absolutely LOVED our vacation to Hawaii. My dad paid for everyone and was so amazing to all of us the entire trip. Making sure we all did things we enjoyed and just making it happen. I will forever be grateful to him for the wonderful memories that we made there. We were able to play in the water, we had an amazing condo, a view of the ocean, a pool to play in and everything. It was so amazing. Jeremy and I were able to go scuba diving and we saw a lot of big turtles, and a shark. Capri LOVED playing "water games" and would ask first thing to go. She was very good on the flight to and back from Hawaii. I was really worried about all of the travel time but she did AMAZING. I was so proud of her. She loved making sand castles, looking for Shells and chasing the waves in the ocean with her daddy. Santa came to the pool at our condo on Christmas day and Capri was absolutely adorable yet still a little standoffish toward him. hahaha- we all loved the joke that Santa made his last stop in Hawaii and was taking his vacation here. The thing I miss most about living in Hawaii was the night sky with the moon reflecting on the ocean at night. Listening to the waves crash. It's the most soothing sound. I don't know anything more beautiful than the night sky in Hawaii.
We went deep sea fishing, shopped, went to flea markets, to an AMAZING restaurant that Cliff found on Yelp. Apparently that is all the rage when finding amazing restaurants. Cliff and my parents went to the top on the mountain driving and my mom about had a heart attack and Greg biked from the bottom to the top and back down again in a day. He's CRAZY but very fit. All in all it was amazing...even though the flight home we were all SUPER tired and a bit ornery. Who wouldn't be leaving paradise? LOL 

Family, grandparents, and time. My thoughts late at night while capri won't sleep. lol

Family is important, I know things don't matter, but I am grateful for the few things I have to remember my sweet Grandma Gibson. The memories are there and she is the reason the things mean anything to me.
This is my grandmother's cedar chest I painted last summer. I have been excited to have a home of my own to put it in ever since I was a little girl and got the chest when she passed away. I love it and I miss her so much. I have been thinking a lot about her lately, how much she meant to me and how she made me feel so happy and loved. I miss her more than words can express. I remember moving to Henderson when I was only 2 and missing her so badly knowing we were far away from her. We had lived with her when I was a baby and according to my mother she babied me so much. I distinctly remember seeing the corner of the picture frame sticking slightly out of one of the moving boxes. I was so excited to have found the picture of her and pulled it out and kissed it.
I fell out of a tree house the day she passed and hurt my back pretty badly. I hurt my back last week and when I remember the first time I hurt it I feel the pain of missing her. She didn't have a lot of money, I could tell that at a young age, but I didn't care. I just wanted to see her and spend time with her. I loved when she would visit and she would get to sleep in my room because I had a full bed. (I was NOT happy when my parents got rid of it and I had to move to a twin bed.) I loved her and the time she spent with me. It was special, she made me feel special. The older I get the more I realize how much TIME is important. Spending time with family and memories are important. It's what really lasts and I will never forget or stop missing my sweet grandmother until I get to see her again. I'm so grateful to my living grandmother Smith for paying the way for my grandma to come to my baptism when I was 8 years old. She hates flying and offered to send my Grandma Gibson. At the time we did not know our time was short, and having her there in Oklahoma for my baptism is a treasured memory to me.
I was talking with Jeremy late the other night, explaining how much I missed her. How I felt silly, but I just wish I could be with her, I want to know that she is okay and to see her again. I believe that I will, I just am very impatient and wishing life were easier...lol. I know silly me. Anyways, Jeremy said something that helped me "It's like wanting your mom here right now in the room with us, no matter how much you want it, she can't be here RIGHT now." She still exists she's just in another place. I know my Grandma is with my Grandpa and I'm sure she is so happy. But I still miss her.

She always did my hair when she came to visit and I loved it!

Why yes, we are waving corn around

I also have a silver turquoise ring that I wear almost daily.

The next generation....my mom has been an amazing Grandmother to Capri. She has helped so much and calls and talks to me and Capri daily. Capri loves her "grammy" and her "Papa" so much. Working in Utah has been a lot easier knowing she is spending time with them while I am out working. They come up to visit often and Capri is a spoiled only grandchild who loves the attention.

  
"Papa" and Capri are best friends. Their bond is a special one, she loves face-timing him and he has been so giving. Our Christmas family trip to Hawaii was all my sweet daddy. He paid for everything and I will be forever grateful for the sweet memories we had there. Capri loved Hawaii and seeing all of the new things, the beach, sand, shells and rocks. I'll do another post just about Hawaii.