"Love you much mama"

"Love you much mama" words I can't even begin to express how wonderfully happy they made me. I always dreamed of being a mother, I wanted to be the best mother in the world. My world was rocked however when Capri was born. I did not feel like a good mother at all. Why couldn't I tell what she wanted? I had no idea the whole "different screams for different things" it was one scream. Loud, very loud and it was often. I have learned so much in the almost two years being Capri's mother. I have learned that you do what you have to as a parent to survive. Survival. It's something Jeremy and I had to dig and dig and try to figure out through the first six months of Capri's life and on. She screamed for hours, we went to doctor after doctor appointment, tried different techniques, driving, not driving, music, no music, tv, no tv, lights on, lights off, white noise, no white noise, a lovey, countless binkies (all of which were gagged right out of Capri's mouth), special soaps, lavender smells in the room, night lights, no night lights. And feeding her, oh man is that a whole long list in and of itself, and to this day is still a battle.
Capri has taught me so much more than I ever thought I'd learn from being her mom. She loves to laugh and play. She is so sweet to animals and because of her we got a bunny and a big fish tank and go to the petting zoo often. One of my favorite things that she has been doing lately is praying over her food. Which consists of her closing her eyes, folding her arms and saying "Heavnly father, AMEN!" and she does it at night before she goes to sleep as well. I always felt like I wasn't teaching her well because I did not force her to pray with us during meals or at night, just had her watch. She also really loves the game "Your CUTE" and it's a really fun little banter telling each other the other one is cute. She is so fun to watch when she face times her grammy and papa and her uncle cliff. One time when Cliff was face-timing probably back in November she would put the phone in her pretend kitchen microwave and "cook" Cliff as he screamed for fun on the phone, she would put the phone in the sink and pretend to be spraying water all over him as well. She has such a fun personality I honestly can't believe it. She will randomly sing "twinkle twinkle, star, up above world high, diamond sky" I love it so much! She loves music when she is awake...when she wants to go to sleep she will yell "stop" and put her hand up. She always screamed louder when she was an infant if I tried to sing her to sleep. Instead I was constantly "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSHHHHHHHing" her. The other day at the store a little baby was crying pretty hysterically and from an aisle over Capri started "shhhhsshhhhing" and saying "baby crying? shhhssshhhhh". I have never seen a more grateful little sick kid, she will say "kissame" and I will kiss her head, arm, hand etc. anything that she either bonked or if her head hurts etc and she will say "thank you mama" It killsss me its so cute. She is so gracious and also when she burps she laughs holds her hand to her mouth and says "excusame" She is so bright and independent. She still passes out when she gets upset, but most of the time it happens if she has been sick. She still does not sleep many hours and I don't think she ever will. I have learned that you cannot make someone do anything. Especially sleep. If she isn't going to sleep no amount of rocking, shhhsssshing, dark room etc  will put her to sleep. On the bright side we have had a lot of fun memories late at night. She loves to be hugged and will say "hugga me" when she wants to be picked up. I am so in love with this toddler stage it's crazy. I love that I get to spend so much time with her while she is young. It can get tough working with her around as she knows how to get right in my face and tell me what she wants or that she wants me to "hang up, hang up" Or she comes and tries to close my computer while I am working. She was so much fun in Hawaii for Christmas and I was so proud of how well she handled the travel time. She loves to color, play with playdough which she calls "mino" (I have no idea why but she started calling it that very young and it has stuck. Her favorite show is Doc McStuffin's and she loves to "check ears" "check eyes" and then say "all better". When people come to visit us at come she yells "come on in!" and proceeds to show them whatever toy she is especially attached to, or show them her bunny or her fishes. She loves her daddy and they love to eat "colds" (otter pops) together. This morning she heard me talking about how my back was hurting (I threw it out over a week ago and it has been hurting me ever since. Back pain sucks) and she said "back hurting? kiss it"" and proceeded to kiss my shoulder. She has such a kind heart and wants everyone to be her friend. She can switch between apps, turn on my phone, the ipad and play lots of games on them. She also loves books and will bring me book after book to read to her. I was so worried when she was younger because she wouldn't sit still while I read a book, but now she loves it and will ask me to read her books multiple times a day. Which has in turn sent me to thrift stores and DI to try and find more books because I get bored reading the same ones over and over.
Jeremy continues to be super busy in grad school and I am looking forward to the summer when he will not have as much and he can come to Utah with me when I go to work. We love our little girl and I could go on and on with all of the adorable things that she does. And yes I should be doing paperwork but I decided to blog about my little princess instead.